The Professional

It was like something out of Love Island, except I wasn’t fifteen years younger, didn’t have a swimsuit flossing my lady garden and Dr Alex George – presumably by virtue of his absence – was down the road at University Hospital Lewisham, hopefully not being rejected by his patients as he was by the ladiesContinue reading “The Professional”

The Nike

It’s the part of IVF that everyone hopes they’ll never get to. The round which you know in your bones is going to be your last.  The one where you’ve been through so many iterations of yourself along the way you know there’s nothing and nobody left other than to turn up, check that bitterContinue reading “The Nike”

The Tilderbeast

Somewhere between the veil of sleep and dreaming I was awake, a piercing sound came up the stairs. I was alone, with our second embryo safely tucked up in my HRT sponsored, 1000 thread count womb lining. Sleep was already fitful. Fuck, I thought. This is it. South East London and I’m finally about toContinue reading “The Tilderbeast”

The 65.6% Fairy

Hands up who thinks babies and children can be a never ending, life-long money pit? The 0-25 year accessories. Homing, feeding, clothing, educating, protecting. Trying your utmost to give them the building blocks with which they can grow. Newsflash people: some of us breeders to be are already dropping serious coin on all sorts ofContinue reading “The 65.6% Fairy”

The Pumbaa

It was the summer of 1994 and the gardeners were mowing the school sports field topless. “Let’s get down to some reproduction!” said our legendary biology teacher Mr S, steeling himself for the lessons ahead. Tasked with educating a rowdy bunch of 14 year old girls about sex – the poor bastard – this incredibleContinue reading “The Pumbaa”

Kent walks near London

A hopefully useful guide to walks within reach of south east London that won't take forever or make you feel you've abandoned civilisation

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