pregnancy

The Egg

He looks like his daddy. Everybody says so. The face shape, the lips, those long eyelashes I just knew he’d inherit. I am amused – but not surprised – when a mini version of what I politely call Mr Maybehood’s basic look comes out in baby sensory, his gorgeously dark blue eyes flickering around mineContinue reading “The Egg”

The Exchange

One Saturday in 2021 I left the Maybehood mainland and didn’t even know it. A landscape and emotional weather system so familiar and engrained in me, I thought I was sitting peaceably on the beach when the boat for one had already pushed off from the shore. I assumed supplies needed were in the hull.Continue reading “The Exchange”

The Veil

When Professor Nick Macklon told me to get both vaccines and go and enjoy the summer, I didn’t need to be told twice. There was – literally – nothing else for it. First we went to Wales and climbed Snowdon. Then we were both beasted at work and I had to deliver a project withContinue reading “The Veil”

The Nike

It’s the part of IVF that everyone hopes they’ll never get to. The round which you know in your bones is going to be your last. The one where you’ve been through so many iterations of yourself along the way you know there’s nothing and nobody left other than to turn up, check that bitterContinue reading “The Nike”

Guest Vag #2

Welcome to the second in my Guest Vag series, where fellow women open up their hearts, vaginas, and share their Maybehood in the hope it helps yours. Bebs has written incredibly openly about her Maybehood, with an emotional honesty and humour that I’m sure many of you will resonate with (I certainly did). Over toContinue reading “Guest Vag #2”

Maybehood: not knowing if I’ll ever become a mother

This blog was first published by Tommy’s on their website for Rainbow Baby Day on 22 August 2020 My name is Annabel, and my husband and I are parents to babies that simply aren’t here. Like many of you, we have suffered loss, we understand longing and despite or because of everything, we continue toContinue reading “Maybehood: not knowing if I’ll ever become a mother”

The Pumbaa

It was the summer of 1994 and the gardeners were mowing the school sports field topless. “Let’s get down to some reproduction!” said our legendary biology teacher Mr S, steeling himself for the lessons ahead. Tasked with educating a rowdy bunch of 14 year old girls about sex – the poor bastard – this incredibleContinue reading “The Pumbaa”

The Arrested Development

There’s a spare room next door to our bedroom which has spent the last four and a half years moonlighting as a laundrette cum potensch nursery. It’s got the Victorian fireplace, neutral paint, obligatory laundry paraphernalia and faint hints of south east London’s finest coming from next door. The window looks out onto the sideContinue reading “The Arrested Development”

The Michael Jordan

Covid-19, AKA the ‘Rona, has brought many things to humanity’s table, not least of which an increased reliance on Netflix’s game (strong). Here, in the depths of drama, comedy and pre corona comfort reruns, I have witnessed the emergence of a true life – dare I say fertility struggle – icon: Mr Michael Jordan. CourtContinue reading “The Michael Jordan”