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The Respectful Conversation

Ah, Australia! Land of Kylie and Jason, home of the tim tam, the sweet, sweet Down Under has given us many gifts: the flat white, Bondi Rescue, Nats What I Reckon, Natalie Imbruglia (who BTW had her son at 45 with IVF and a sperm donor) Neighbours, the Great Barrier Reef, Alf Stewart’s “you flamingContinue reading “The Respectful Conversation”

The Bit

I’ve dicked about writing this post. It’s been bubbling – much like the ‘rona – in the background while I tossed and turned in my head whether, should I, how, if, when? In between work calls and kitchen table writing I spoke to my husband and asked him what he thought. It’s about a commonContinue reading “The Bit”

The Tilderbeast

Somewhere between the veil of sleep and dreaming I was awake, a piercing sound came up the stairs. I was alone, with our second embryo safely tucked up in my HRT sponsored, 1000 thread count womb lining. Sleep was already fitful. Fuck, I thought. This is it. South East London and I’m finally about toContinue reading “The Tilderbeast”

The 65.6% Fairy

Hands up who thinks babies and children can be a never ending, life-long money pit? The 0-25 year accessories. Homing, feeding, clothing, educating, protecting. Trying your utmost to give them the building blocks with which they can grow. Newsflash people: some of us breeders to be are already dropping serious coin on all sorts ofContinue reading “The 65.6% Fairy”

The Pumbaa

It was the summer of 1994 and the gardeners were mowing the school sports field topless. “Let’s get down to some reproduction!” said our legendary biology teacher Mr S, steeling himself for the lessons ahead. Tasked with educating a rowdy bunch of 14 year old girls about sex – the poor bastard – this incredibleContinue reading “The Pumbaa”

The Arrested Development

There’s a spare room next door to our bedroom which has spent the last four and a half years moonlighting as a laundrette cum potensch nursery. It’s got the Victorian fireplace, neutral paint, obligatory laundry paraphernalia and faint hints of south east London’s finest coming from next door. The window looks out onto the sideContinue reading “The Arrested Development”

The Michael Jordan

Covid-19, AKA the ‘Rona, has brought many things to humanity’s table, not least of which an increased reliance on Netflix’s game (strong). Here, in the depths of drama, comedy and pre corona comfort reruns, I have witnessed the emergence of a true life – dare I say fertility struggle – icon: Mr Michael Jordan. CourtContinue reading “The Michael Jordan”

The Situation

2016: Three days after my 36th birthday and the party is over. “There’s a bit of bad news”, the sonographer announces. At twelve and a half weeks, our most cherished hopes and dreams have stopped. The wonderful hospital staff reassure me that like a procreationally challenged Arnold Schwarzenegger, “I’ll be back.” 2019: I finish aContinue reading “The Situation”